don't die just yet

I had a dream last night, I'm dreaming right now, and still have a lot of dreams for tomorrow, I don't wanna die yet.

There must be something wrong with me, with daily pressure and the 4 months boredomness yet I still keep saying that I will be somewhat more successful than any other who find themselves working now or part time-ing, prove me wrong, I'll be big someday haha. But it's not me who's the one that has the problem with unemployed activities, but parents said that money is not your goal right now, it will be more useful if I spend my time with course or something builds me, they said that I need to take a break.

Okay I need to take a break, but 3 months off and another one off before university is just crazy. But tomorrow might be different, I will be on my orientation week. From 7.30 - 17.00, I won't be so much full with leisureliness at least. Yeah hopefully it will be busy, or I'll shot myself in front of my new friends, seriously, I should grab a shotgun and put it on my backpack, just for an anticipation.

And it's fasting month, in Indonesia, this huge country with the only one famous city in it (Jakarta), we have some kind of cultural thing or cultural-do once a year called 'mudik'. Mudik is awesome tradition of Jakarta people, because most of the employees are from outside of the city, so whenever it's fasting month or Ramadhan they make a plan to go to see their family outside this boring capital city, millions will go away, they'll go back to their habitat, and show off their money from Jakarta, what a poor tradition isn't it? No! I was joking, I mean they will go to say hey to each other and have some fun just like the old time.

So what's with the mudik stuff?

Like I said before, employees are out. So that means I might have a chance to be their replacement just for 1-2 weeks til they got back here. I'm on my CV, writing my experiences down to make the HRD (human resources & development) astonished and find me amazing, I am, all I need is a chance, really. This is the last chance to make me become maturer, and busier in this last month of my holiday. Come on guys, pray out loud for me.

You know, I really wanna die if the condition will stay like this. I find it hard to live this life this way. Maybe I'm not the type that can live without routine schedule and pressure. I'm still young, I should be busy and miserable, not like this, not at all.

By the way, I dreamed last night, it was reallly weird. I had a girlfriend, and another girlfriend who loved me at the same time. They shared me, and they didn't get jealous at all, they even said they wanted a blablasome. Damn, that was a dream. Was real close.

So that is it. I'm done with this internet life, I'm done. I don't wanna just barely exist in this lame planet, I wanna live this life. Internet, it's not me who's gonna die, it's you. Die you, die!