hear me out

It's 10:45 PM

Not a cup of a coffee neither tasks are on my desk. Just my glasses hanging on my forehead, soothing music, and the heavy eyes. The fact that I will have my first day of final exam in my college tomorrow, it should have been hectic, now I'm just chillin' instead. This semester has a lot of differences, though I still don't have a girlfriend yet, but who cares, I'm getting used to this college, and hopefully the other things will follow up my college-life situation.

I was thinking that I probably wanted to write things about my desperately-in-a-need-for-affection, but I know you guys had enough, we're all lonely creature in denial. So now I'm thinking that I should talk about 'stimulation', the subconscious source of ambition. Interesting huh? Yeah I always pick interesting topic to write about, that's why when I was a kid I was called 'dragon tamer', sorry for the lame joke.

Television had been our subconscious stimulation, until the internet era came and revolutionized everything. We all had those abstract pictures in our mind, they all pop out of our mind and sometimes unconsciously telling us what to do. No, I wasn't going to talk about commercials, not just about it, this is about the media that makes world go around.

The idea of the prettiness of a girl is developing while you're seeing things. You're building the expectations now, the saying what you see is what you are is right, so when you keep watching porn 3 times a day, you'll expect unconsciously your girlfriend to be slutty to have gigantic boobs and just randomly knockin your door and come through naked.

And you know, I just watched 'a walk to remember' like 1 month ago and as you learn from the paragraphs above, now I want a nice girl who is playing around the grave, active singing in church, and have chronic leukimia. For the first week I consciously felt how the film had grown on me, and couple of weeks later I just forgot that I have watched that movie. But now, every time I see a girl who looks like Mandy Moore I will get hit by the arrow of love cupids, straight to the heart.

I have read many self-help books that tellin me to not to do unnecessary action which includes the body, it proves the fact that watching unnecessary things just will let you down someday. And you can be mad to your parents for telling you the bedtime stories that has been provoking your mind until now, it's your childhood, you won't be able to forget it, they're all deep memories that can't be erased. I suggest, bring your parents to the court, blame them for all your problems.

The last part is just a complete joke, but seriously, you can't let the media control your mind all the time, they make you scared of being poor, being ugly, being fat, and being geek. Now you've been stimulated, been manipulated to work hard, create money, and buy your girlfriend a lingerie made of diamond. It has been conspiracy, since the first man on earth Adam. I don't mean to disappoint you but yes, now I'm also manipulating you. We're all manipulators goddamnit!

Why is life just too complex? Can I hear an amen!?

Just like my grandpa Confucius said, "Everything has its own beauty, but not everyone sees it". But how exactly these words from BC still don't change from centuries to centuries. It must be conspiracy, everything is. Ciao!