I was chatting with friend of mine, lately she kept asking whether I've done my assignment, how my life was going, til she asked "Why are you so serious about those stuff? What's your purpose anyway?".
I answered vaguely "it's merely a dream that should be chased, to make your own reason to stay alive".
My own spontaneous answer hit me right to the heart, it's the answer that I've been searching for, I was all chasing the score, I lost the joy, and the most important thing was I forgot to get a grip on dream, my vision.
My college-mates are all like genius in disguise, they're all like mixture of Buddha and Einstein, most of you'll feel embarrassed when you see them, because they're all a dream-chaser, a deep thinker, and optimistic about their future life, and their score in exams are all almost perfect. I kept questioning how I can be at least below them, I kinda felt I was out of their league. I was depressed.
But, does it really matter? What if my dream is much bigger? Can I still be successful?
Definition of being successful
Successful in Biology = Can reproduce to avoid the extinction of species
Successful in Religion = Do good deeds, pray, help the others, life is impermanent
Successful nowadays = Money talks
Successful in Life = Do what you like
YES indeed, they're all too many to be done in our short life. Okay, then I should rearrange my dream, I wanna be an engineer for couple of years, getting money from it, and save money, and be lecturer or public speaker and go all over the world spreading the love. Now I can care (very) less about my score, yea but I'm still depressed. But things will get worse before it gets better, so chill....
I wanna be successful in biological way, anyone!? Ciao.
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