what's so bright?

Bright is my last name, Gemilang means bright. But I keep questioning what's so bright about my life, since this couple of months killing me right through the heart and brain, I'm a walking dead with dreamlessness and sleeplessness. I'm tired of life.

I know I can't keep resisting these troubles, I just blow up in another minutes if I keep doing it. But I found wise people in the internet, to change fate is to change perspective, and also found out by praying could decrease the possibilities to be bounded by fate/destiny. So I just said to myself, "Yeah...". I know that won't be that easy but at least I got a hint to survive this December and January, you don't know how desperate I am lately. I've been wanting for a sudden death in night. I was just too tired, I still am.

And maybe I worry too much about the result, I forgot all about the importance of process. This 2010 has been terribly rough to me, and this year is also a changing year for me. I'm busy living and busy dying, and I have no hot chick to talk to, but who cares? I'm new to this life, I'm amateur in this life, I'm learning and I'll be good someday, so see you and wish me luck!